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Bubba Wallace reveals to Dale Jr. intimate details about battle with depression

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In one of his most revealing interviews, NASCAR Cup driver Bubba Wallace explained why depression has been and remains a struggle for him.

The Richard Petty Motorsports driver, who turns 26 today, appears with Dale Earnhardt Jr. on the Dale Jr. Download on both NBCSN (today at 5 p.m. ET) and on Dirty Mo Radio.

Wallace opened up about his battle with depression, the relationship he has with his parents, as well as his racing career.

Wallace first said he suffered from depression in May after an emotional breakdown earlier this year at Kansas Speedway.

On the Dale Jr. Download, Wallace expounded about his battle with depression.

I guess I’ve never looked at it as a sign of weakness or coming out and talking about any issue that I have,” Wallace said. “If you ask me, I’m going to tell you. I don’t know if it’s the bigger picture or light at the end of tunnel, but I was definitely in rough times there at Kansas. They were like, ‘What’s going on, you seem different?’ And I said, ‘I’m depressed, it’s as simple as that.’

For weeks and weeks (since then), I’m still getting thanked for talking about depression, that it’s helped so many people. I’m like, ‘Oh, I didn’t know it was such a big deal.’ I was just asked what was going on, and I told them because I’m an open book. What you see is what you get. But it’s such a bigger deal than ‘I’m just depressed. Hey, I’m going through this, days are dark and long and I’m quiet and lonely and I’ve never been able to come out and talk about that. It’s signs of weakness and whatnot.’

Wallace went on to say:

I’m pretty good at holding things in. That’s my problem. I held it in for so long and it had just built up. I don’t talk. When I’m mad, I just hold it all in. That’s what’s ruined relationships and whatnot. I just hold it in and a day later it blows over and ‘Hey, what’s going on?’ and you don’t realize the damage you’ve done.”

When asked if he now sees his public revelation as a regret or release, Wallace replied it’s been the latter.

A release, for sure, a release of emotions, anger, frustration, tears, sadness, darkness, loneliness, everything,” he said. “When I talked about it, it’s emotional to think about it to this day. There’s still days … it’s been a lot better, (but) there’s still days that I’ll go home, sit on the couch and just look at a blank TV.”

Wallace said he did see two therapists to help him deal with his problem.

I tried,” he said on the Dale Jr Download. “I went to counseling and people say there’s nothing wrong with counseling. I went and did that twice with a psychiatrist and psychologist and it was very weird, sitting there talking like this is what I’m feeling. ‘Well, why are you feeling this way?’ I don’t know, I just am. They said you’ve got to give it time, it’s not going to go anywhere in two weeks and I stopped going. I can’t do it.”

In one of his most revealing interviews ever, a very retrospective Bubba Wallace reveals a number of private details about his battle with his depression, his parents’ divorce and more on today’s Dale Jr. Download. (Photo by Sean Gardner/Getty Images)

Earnhardt interjected he also has gone to therapy. Of the first few times of discussing his problems with a professional, Earnhardt felt relieved, noting: “This is an awesome person and I’d like to spend more time with them and we’ve become very close friends.”

Wallace said it’s been nearly four months since he went to therapy but continues to work on his problems on his own. It’s part of wearing his emotions on his sleeve and being an emotional person.

That’s how it’s always been, really,” he said. “I think I’m guilty of doing before I think, especially on the negative side. It’s like, uhhh, probably shouldn’t have done that.”

Wallace also talked openly about how his parents’ contentious divorce in 2016 impacted him.

This is the first time I’ve talked about (the divorce),” Wallace said. “That’s why I like this show, because honesty comes out. It’s like speak the truth, nothing but the truth.”

He shared more, including what happened after his mother told him: “Well, me and your dad got into it.”

That led to a physical confrontation Wallace said he had with his father.

The light switch went off, I got in my truck and went over and fought my dad, like swinging fists, just did before I thought. A physical altercation,” Wallace said. “For 15 years of racing it was me and him. And then that day, that was it.”

But things are starting to get back on track in his relationship with his father.

This year, finally my dad and I are making some progress,” Wallace said. “My dad is super hard-headed to talk to and just to make him understand things. I still love him to death, no matter what, right, wrong or indifferent, he’s still my dad.

Multiple times I did (extend an olive branch to his father). His favorite saying is, ‘Time shall heal all wounds.’ I’d say, ‘Hey man, wanna talk?’ He’d say, ‘Time shall heal all wounds.’ A couple months later, ‘Hey man, wanna talk?’ He’d say, ‘Time shall heal all wounds.’ You still have a little bit of that awkward tension there.”

Wallace cited his relationship issues with his father impacting him.

This is a big chunk of the depression I’ve had, losing your best friend,” Wallace said.

Catch the show on today at 5 p.m. ET on NBCSN or click here to listen to the entire podcast on Dirty Mo Radio.

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NASCAR America presents MotorMouths at 5 p.m. ET on NBCSN

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This week’s episode of NASCAR America presents MotorMouths airs from 5-6 p.m. ET on NBCSN.

Marty Snider will be joined by Kyle Petty and NASCAR Hall of Famer Dale Jarrett. In addition to discussing last Sunday’s Southern 500 and this weekend’s Brickyard 400, they’ll be taking fan calls at 844-NASCAR-NBC or reach out on Twitter via #LetMeSayThis.

If you can’t catch today’s show on TV, watch online at http:/nascarstream.nbcsports.com. If you plan to stream the show on your laptop or portable device, be sure to have your username and password from your cable/satellite/telco provider handy so your subscription can be verified.

Once you enter that information, you’ll have access to the stream.

Click here at 5 p.m. ET to watch live via the stream.

NASCAR America at 5 p.m. ET: Recapping Kevin Harvick’s Loudon win

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Today’s episode of NASCAR America airs on NBCSN from 5-6 p.m. ET and will recap Kevin Harvick‘s win at New Hampshire on Sunday.

Steve Letarte is joined by Kyle Petty and Nate Ryan to discuss that and other storylines.

If you can’t catch today’s show on TV, watch online at http:/nascarstream.nbcsports.com. If you plan to stream the show on your laptop or portable device, be sure to have your username and password from your cable/satellite/telco provider handy so your subscription can be verified.

Once you enter that information, you’ll have access to the stream.

Click here at 5 p.m. ET to watch live via the stream.

NASCAR America Presents MotorMouths at 5 p.m. ET on NBCSN with Kyle Busch

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This week’s episode of NASCAR America’s MotorMouths airs today from 5-6 p.m. ET on NBCSN and features 2015 Cup champion Kyle Busch.

The Joe Gibbs Racing driver joins Rutledge Wood and Kyle Petty to discuss this week’s news as well as take fan phone calls.

If you can’t catch today’s show on TV, watch online at http:/nascarstream.nbcsports.com. If you plan to stream the show on your laptop or portable device, be sure to have your username and password from your cable/satellite/telco provider handy so your subscription can be verified.

Once you enter that information, you’ll have access to the stream.

Click here at 5 p.m. ET to watch live via the stream.

Danielle Trotta new host of NBCSN’s Victory Lap post-race show

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Danielle Trotta will join NBC Sports’ NASCAR coverage as host of the “Victory Lap” post-race show for select Cup Series races this year.

Trotta made the announcement Tuesday on SiriusXM NASCAR Radio’s “On Track,” the show she began co-hosting this year with Larry McReynolds.

Trotta has also been with NBC Sports Boston since 2018.

As part of “Victory Lap,” which begins Sunday at 7 p.m. on NBCSN after the Cup race at New Hampshire Motor Speedway, fans will be able to call in with questions about the race. Trotta will be joined by AJ Allmendinger and Parker Kligerman this weekend.

“It’ll be fun to continue the conversation,” Trotta said after making the announcement on SiriusXM NASCAR Radio. “I think after the race ends and you hear the driver’s post-race comments and we see the highlights, as a race fan on so many Sundays, I would sit on my couch and want more. I would want more coverage, more conversation, more conjecture and I think that’s exactly what NASCAR “Victory Lap” has always been and will continue to be, and then we take the next step of really wanting the conversation to be interactive and having people call live into the show.”

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