Avengers

Getty Images

NASCAR Avengers: Endgame edition

Leave a comment

It’s April, so that means it’s time for another Marvel’s Avengers save the world yet again in movie theaters around the globe.

Avengers: Endgame will be released tonight and it’s expected to make an impressive amount of money despite being three hours long. Yes, three hours.

We decided to exploit the series’ attention for the second year in a row by making our own Avengers lineup of NASCAR drivers.

Just like in the comics/movies, the roster has changed some, but not due to a contract dispute/scheduling conflict/being snapped out of existence.

Send your Avengers/NASCAR recommendations to Daniel McFadin.

Stan Lee – Since our first Avengers posts last year, Jim France has assumed the position of NASCAR Chairman and CEO. He’s the perfect person to make a cameo in our NASCAR Avengers movie like the late comic book creator.

Nick Fury – Steve Phelps took over as NASCAR’s president last year. Now give that man an eyepatch.

Iron Man – Austin Dillon has that outlandish Tony Stark style and he parties like the billionaire playboy philanthropist would if he owned a barn and some fancy cars.

Rocket RaccoonTony Stewart isn’t a talking animal. But the talking raccoon is a weapons expert who likes to make things go boom and isn’t afraid to speak his mind. If you’re ever in a tight spot that requires the use of a flame thrower, Stewart is your man.

Star Lord AKA Peter Quill – Nothing changed here. Clint Bowyer is still from the Midwest and he’s still the driver most likely to call someone a “turd blossom.”

Captain America/Falcon/Winter Soldier – Captain America and Falcon bring to mind the Ryan Blaney/Bubba Wallace duo and NASCAR’s best bromance. Chase Elliott gets the nod as the Winter Soldier anti-hero because he doesn’t get invited to their hangouts. Also, Blaney has to shave his facial hair every year like Steve Rogers in Endgame.

Spider-Man – The 18-year-old Harrison Burton takes Spidey’s web-shooters from William Byron. Somebody born after Y2K should get in on the action here.

The Incredible Hulk – Don’t make Daniel Suarez angry, especially in qualifying.

Thor – Since the “God of Thunder” got a hair cut and trimmed his beard recently, Jeffrey Earnhardt is replaced in the role by Kyle Busch and his beard.

Doctor Strange – Last year, Brad Keselowski was the pick here, but Ryan Preece gets the nod in 2019. Magic is the only reasonable explanation for how he’s avoided some wrecks this season.

Drax the Destroyer – Just like this Guardian of the Galaxy, it takes a lot to make Paul Menard smile.

Captain Marvel – The newest Avenger on the scene must be played by two-time K&N Pro  Series West winner Hailie Deegan.

 

NASCAR’s Avengers are here to save the day

Getty Images
Leave a comment

In case you haven’t heard, a little movie called Avengers: Infinity War was released last week and it has made all the money.

The Avengers, also known as “Earth’s Mightiest Heroes,” are a ragtag cast of characters and personalities that on paper shouldn’t work, but in reality make for drama that has captured audience’s attention for 10 years in cinemas and decades in comic books.

This raises an obvious question.

Which NASCAR Cup drivers – current and retired – would make up the Avengers?

Here’s an exhaustive (one afternoon of contemplation) evaluation of NASCAR’s best.

Send your Avengers/NASCAR recommendations to Daniel McFadin.

Nick Fury – Steve O’Donnell, NASCAR’s chief racing development officer, is the most visible face of NASCAR’s leadership. Now imagine that face with an eyepatch.

Iron ManAustin Dillon has that Tony Stark style and he parties like the billionaire playboy philanthropist would if he owned a barn.

Rocket Raccoon – No, Tony Stewart isn’t a talking animal. But the talking raccoon is a weapons expert who likes to make things go boom. If you’re ever in a tight spot that requires the use of a flame thrower, Stewart is your man.

Star Lord AKA Peter QuillClint Bowyer has a couple of things in common with this character. Both are from the Midwest. Bowyer hails from Kansas and Star Lord from Missouri. Also, Bowyer is the driver most likely to call someone a “turd blossom.”

Captain America/Falcon – These modern-day best friends and allies bring to mind the Ryan Blaney/Darrell Wallace Jr. duo and NASCAR’s best bromance.

Spider-Man – The youngest member of the Avengers is a tech savvy teenager just getting his feet wet in the superhero world while also attending high school. William Byron fits the mold of the webslinger as he navigates his rookie year in Cup while taking college courses.

The Incredible Hulk – Don’t make Matt Kenseth angry. He might not be physically imposing, but poke the bear enough and you’ll have to face his inner Hulk in-between haulers after a race or find yourself punted into the wall at a short track.

ThorJeffrey Earnhardt has the beard, he just needs the hammer.

Doctor Strange – The Sorcerer Supreme has the ability to manipulate time and space. When it comes to restrictor-plate racing these days, few are better than Brad Keselowski at manipulating the draft to work their magic.

Drax the Destroyer – Just like this Guardian of the Galaxy, it takes a lot to make Paul Menard smile.

Black Widow – For a long time the former Russian spy was the only woman in the Avenger boys club and Danica Patrick was in a similar position in Cup until moving on after this season’s Daytona 500.

 and on Facebook