Kligerman: Who wants to be a billionaire? Here’s how: Battle Karts!

Top Golf could be a model for a similar racing experience, writes Parker Kligerman.
David Becker/Getty Images for Tifanja
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A couple years ago I was in a dingy underground bar in Hong Kong. Sitting in a dark red leather booth (at least I think it was dark red, hard to tell through the synthetic E-cigarette smoke), it had the smell of the back mudroom in a small frat house mixed with a plastic fruit flavor of bananas and berries.

I had met a big group of young Brits on one of the million vacations that young, affluent Brits take between birth and death. Sweat was pouring from every single orifice of my body in seemingly 1,000-degree heat that had been concocted via spicy foods and our latest shot of something they called “Brilliant.”

I sat at the end of the booth when a blonde British girl asked, “What do you want to be in life?”

Without a moment’s hesitation — and surely for the first time in my life — I replied, “I want to be a billionaire.”

Maybe it was the drinks, the foreign locale  or the Travie McCoy song “Billionaire” playing those exact lyrics at that moment.

She looked at me with pause and dropped to a mix of flummox and disappointment. Like when you tell your mom about the “harmless” prank you played on a friend of yours.

She replied “That’s DISGUSSSTTTINNNGG” in a way only the British can. It simultaneously sounded profound but uneducated Valley Girl.

I laughed loudly and carried on into the night. And I never uttered those words again, as the truth is I don’t really care to be a billionaire.

A millionaire would be nice. Which is why I am going to offer you an idea that — if correctly executed — surely will make someone a billionaire … or a millionaire …  er, maybe broke.

In the tech world if you have an idea, you inevitably will try to convince potential investors by way of “It’s the Uber for X” or if you’re writing a new sitcom, you may say “It’s The Big Bang Theory meets X.” The point is you will be using the most successful version of a concept and saying your idea has the same potential.

But it most likely doesn’t, and everyone will stare at you, nod, smile, say “I get it.” And then move on to something else and hope you never bring the idea up again.

So here is my pitch:

Top Golf for NASCAR!

Bear with me. If you are hanging with a group of friends. Inevitably you will try to find something to do. Some will want to go to the nearest bar, others will want to play a sport or Xbox. And some will want to sit on the couch and watch It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia reruns all day.

Eventually you will Google things to do. If you’re lucky, a place called Top Golf will emerge in the results.

Everyone will agree it seems the best compromise. Upon arrival, you’ll be greeted by a facility more akin to space travel than golf. You’ll be bombarded by trendy music, information screens and a mass of people. None of which looks like golfers.

And that’s what is so great. They are not golfers, and that’s why you’re there. Because not all your friends are golfers.

But over the next couple hours you’ll consume many beverages, eat overly acceptable food and most importantly, enjoy the company of your best friends.

All the while, you competitively are vying for golf shot supremacy. And by the third massive bucket of beverages and seems-like-a-good-idea tequila shot, you’ll be betting who can drive the ball the farthest.

Why?

Because the ball has a microchip in it that tells you how far it goes, and you’ll be drunk.

It’s the sensible thing to do.

As you lean back in the comfortable couches and take in the party atmosphere, you’ll glance up and notice one of the two TVs in your area is playing your favorite It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia.

You’ll be smiling and giddy like a child watching their favorite cartoon, eating an endless bucket of candy.

I got to experience this in Las Vegas a couple weeks ago in a group with my brother. As we looked at what seemed a million people enjoying this high-tech driving range, I turned to my brother and said, “These guys saved golf.”

If you didn’t know, golf as a sport is struggling. More than 800 golf courses have closed in the last decade. The PGA Tour has endured declining TV ratings in 40 of last year’s 64 events. And their fan base is aging.

Sound familiar?

There is hope, though, Top Golf was created when two brothers in England got bored with the monotony of a driving range they owned.

A global phenomenon has followed: 21 locations between the United States and England and an estimated 12 million players in 2016. And astonishingly, more than 50 percent never hit a golf ball before.

What does this mean for racing?

Unless you are a race car driver or want to be one, most go-karting facilities are, let’s face it … boring.

They have a flat track and beat-up karts. You always are slower than the guy who spends an unhealthy amount of time there (thinking Rick Hendrick will walk in, see the time sheet and exclaim “Hire that man!”).

You are told don’t bump, don’t smile, don’t scream and don’t have fun.

And most importantly, don’t race.

Because some actuary in Ohio probably saw a description of “40 mph, people motorized vehicles”  and immediately wrote, “DEATH.” So the only way to proper insurance for track owners is to prohibit fun.

It’s a hard sell for people who don’t understand the fascination with racing or care about cars/driving. For them, it’s like a dodge ball game in P.E class without knowing how to throw or run. You’re an inferior, overwhelmed, scared, depressed, overflowing-with-anxiety battering ram.

And you paid $40 plus for the honor.

But I am going to change that — Battle Karts!

A quick Google search summons a sad attempt of Battle Karts in France, where modern technology was used to lightly create a real-life Mario Kart.

My idea is bigger than that. I want to have two to three activities all involving driving of some kind, but with a team aspect and points structure that don’t necessarily equate to winning a race.

Activity 1: This will be the centerpiece of Battle Karts, as it will be contested on the largest track. But the object will be not only to win the race – there also will be team competition (designated by kart colors). The vehicles will have roll cages and be a bit beefier than what you normally find these days.

The track will not be your normal kart track, as it will have banked corners made of metal ramps. It will be very slick so you can’t go too fast, and the karts will have the steering lock to allow you to drive sideways. So whether you are Kyle Larson or Betty Smarson, you will be able to compete.

As you climb into one of the Battle Karts, you will notice buttons on the steering wheel. These will be your “weapons” to use against the other teams on the track. Points will be awarded for a “hit” on the other team. Points will be awarded for fastest laps, finishing position and “battle points” from hitting your opponents.

This is about making a structure that allows anyone of any skill set to compete equally. (OK, maybe it’s very much like Mario Kart and needs a bit of work. I never said this idea was complete.)

Activity 2: This is my favorite — beside the main track will be an area similar to a hockey rink but smaller. Inside will be karts that look more like bumper cars, but the surface once again will be slick.

Inside, the karts are split into two colors designating their team. In the center is a giant ball.

This will be Kart Soccer. Similar to what others have done with cars on certain big TV shows — how this is not a thing yet, I don’t know. But it will be at Battle Karts!

Activity 3: Well, that’s where you come in, as I haven’t come up with the third activity. No worries, because if you actually are creating this idea and becoming a billionaire, someone will come up with the third activity.

Lastly, I know a keen reader will say, “But wait, Top Golf is successful because it allows drinking and is a party atmosphere.”

How dare you question my genius? I have a plan for that, too. Elevated above all the tracks in the middle will be the main bar.

It will wrap around the balcony, so you can look at all the competition and races as they happen. There will be on-board cameras in all of the karts and TVs around the bar – as well as two free drinks for anyone over 21 (after completing the competition). You can use the points accumulated in competition to “bet” on the other competitions (using iPads) to win drinks or food.

Maybe it’s not a perfect idea. But the point is, Top Golf took something boring and made it fun — effectively helping introduce new people to a sport they never thought would interest them.

We have to be able to figure out how to do the same with racing. And whoever does accomplish this…

As of writing this, Top Golf most recently was valued at an estimated $2 billion. The opportunity is there.

Do you want to be a billionaire?

Sponsor adds more races in 2023 with Josh Berry

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Jarrett Companies will increase the number of races it will sponsor Josh Berry‘s No. 8 JR Motorsports ride in 2023, the Xfinity Series team announced Monday.

Jarrett Companies will sponsor Berry in six races after serving as the primary sponsor in three races in 2022. Those six races will be Phoenix (March 11), Richmond (April 1), Dover (April 29), Atlanta (July 8), Indianapolis (Aug. 12) and Texas (Sept. 23).

The deal gives Berry at least 26 races with sponsorship for next season. Bass Pro Shops will serve as the primary sponsor of Berry’s car in 11 races in 2023. Tire Pros is back with JRM and will sponsor Berry in nine races in the upcoming season.

Berry, who reached the Xfinity title race and finished fourth in the points, will have a new crew chief in 2023. Taylor Moyer will take over that role with Mike Bumgarner serving as JRM’s director of competition.

The 2023 Xfinity season begins Feb. 18 at Daytona International Speedway.

 

Where are they now? Buddy Parrott enjoying down time

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Buddy Parrott played outsized roles in two of the most dramatic races in NASCAR history.

Now 83 years old and retired from the sport since 2001, Parrott looks back on those two days as highlights of a career that began in the early 1970s.

In the 1990 Daytona 500, champion driver Dale Earnhardt seemed on course to end his frustration in NASCAR’s biggest event. He held the lead roaring down the backstretch on the last lap. Suddenly, Earnhardt slowed with a blown tire.

The lead was inherited by Derrike Cope, who charged to the checkered flag to score one of racing’s biggest upsets.

Parrott was Cope’s crew chief.

MORE: NASCAR Power Rankings: Memorable quotes through the years

In 1984, Richard Petty edged Cale Yarborough to win the summer race at Daytona International Speedway. It was Petty’s 200th – and final – win.

Parrott was Petty’s crew chief.

Those victories were high marks in a long pit-road career that saw Parrott’s drivers win dozens of races. He worked with, among others, Darrell Waltrip, Rusty Wallace, Jeff Burton and Petty and for team owners Jack Roush and Roger Penske.

Parrott remains active at 83, although he admits to having moved to a slower gear.

“I haven’t been living on the edge,” Parrott told NBC Sports. “I’ve been taking it really easy. I told my sons when you get to be 80 you can do anything you want because basically you’ve already done it.”

MORE: NASCAR, ARCA 2023 schedules

His strongest current connection to NASCAR is as a voter in the annual Hall of Fame balloting.

After more than 20 years roaming pit roads as a crew chief, Parrott moved into a general manager role at Roush Racing in 1997. He retired four years later and didn’t look back.

“I finally told Jack one day, ‘I don’t have time to ride my motorcycle,’ ” Parrott said. “He looked at me and said, ‘What do you want to do about it?’ I said, ‘I’m ready to retire.’ He told me I could work whatever schedule I wanted, but I decided that was it. I didn’t have a going-away thing or whatever.”

Parrott spent much of the next 15 years traveling with his wife, Judy, who died in 2016, and playing with his grandchildren.

“I had a great time in retirement because Judy was ready and I was ready,” he said. “We had a lot of fun. We’d go to Florida for two and three months at a time. I’m so happy that I didn’t hang on and go to the shop every day and try to find something to do. I spent that time with Judy, and we had 16 years of good retirement.”

Parrott, a native of Gastonia, N.C., lives in Statesville, N.C. His sons, Todd and Brad, also were NASCAR crew chiefs.

MORE: Jody Ridley’s Dover win an upset for the ages

Parrott is perhaps best remembered as crew chief for Rusty Wallace, Team Penske and the No. 2 black cars sponsored by Miller Lite. From 1992-94, they won 19 races and were consistently competitive at the front.

“I still get a lot of cards sent to me to sign from those years,” Parrott said. “I can say that was some of the happiest times I had. Those years with Rusty – and then with Jack Roush – really stand out. And who in the hell could not have fun having a beer sponsor?”

 

 

NASCAR Awards to air at 8 p.m. ET Saturday on Peacock

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NASHVILLE, Tenn. — Joey Logano didn’t need much time to answer the question.

Who would the two-time Cup champion want to introduce him at the NASCAR Awards?

Racing icon Mario Andretti, Logano immediately said. 

And there was Andretti on the stage at the Music City Center introducing Logano, the 2022 Cup champion. Watch that and the rest of the night’s festivities at 8 p.m. ET Saturday on Peacock. You can order Peacock here.

MORE: See the red carpet scene

MORE: Sport shows support for Gibbs family at NASCAR Awards

NBC Sports’ Marty Snider and Kim Coon co-hosted the show along with Fox Sports’ Kaitlyn Vincie. The Cup, Xfinity and Truck champions were honored. Xfinity champion Ty Gibbs, whose father died hours after Gibbs won the Xfinity title last month, received a standing ovation and thanked the industry for its support.

The highlight of the night for Logano was having Andretti on stage to introduce him.

“He’s just been a great role model for me, not only as a racer, but as a person for so long,” Logano said afterward. “I had his picture on my wall. I looked at Mario Andretti before I went to sleep every night as a kid. I thought it was the coolest thing that he signed it to me.”

NASCAR Awards and Champion Celebration
Cup champion Joey Logano on stage with racing icon Mario Andretti during the NASCAR Awards in Nashville, Tennessee. (Photo by Sean Gardner/Getty Images)

Logano and Andretti have gotten to know each other through the years. Logano ran a throwback car that honored Andretti at Darlington Raceway in 2015 and 2021.

But none of that compared to being on stage with Andretti.

“That’s still like a pinch-me moment,” Logano said. “It’s Mario Andretti. He’s the man. The fact that he knows my name I think is really, really cool.”

Catch the NASCAR Awards at 8 p.m. ET Saturday on Peacock

Sport shows support for Gibbs family at NASCAR Awards

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NASHVILLE, Tenn. — The NASCAR community showed its support Thursday at the NASCAR Awards for the Gibbs family, grieving the death of Coy Gibbs on Nov. 6. 

During his interview on stage, car owner Joe Gibbs thanked the NASCAR industry for its support. (The NASCAR Awards show airs at 8 p.m. ET Saturday on Peacock).

Coy Gibbs, son of Joe Gibbs and father of Xfinity champion Ty Gibbs, died hours after seeing Ty Gibbs win the series title last month at Phoenix Raceway. Coy Gibbs, 49, was the vice chairman and chief operating officer at Joe Gibbs Racing.

Steve O’Donnell, NASCAR chief operating officer, introduced Ty Gibbs at the NASCAR Awards and noted that “everyone gathered tonight is all a part of the NASCAR family, and I know I speak for everyone that the entire NASCAR family is 100% percent behind this young man.”

Ty Gibbs received a standing ovation.

“Thank you,” he told the crowd, “that means a lot.”

Ty Gibbs spoke for less than a minute, thanking his team, sponsors, fans and the NASCAR community.

He closed his speech by saying “And thanks to my family. I love you. I hope everybody has a great offseason. Enjoy it. Thank you for all the support. Thank you for all the claps. I really appreciate it.”

Ty Gibbs spoke to the media earlier Thursday. Asked how he was doing, he said: “I’ve been doing good. Thank you for asking and definitely appreciate you guys. We’ve been doing good, doing a lot of stuff this week. … It’s been fun to experience this stuff.”

Asked about Joe Gibbs addressing the organization after Coy’s death, Ty Gibbs politely said: “For right now, I’m not going to touch on any of that subject at all. I’m just going to stick with all the racing questions and go from there.”

Cup champion Joey Logano said he spent time with 20-year-old Ty Gibbs on Wednesday at the champion’s dinner.

Logano said he told Ty Gibbs that “we’re here for you. You need something reach out.”